[RastaMan]

Our stay at Alkoion hotel was something we all looked forward to, it was to be a trip in honour of my fathers birthday & we had booked the all inclusive deal. A truly poor deal it would show, with cafeteria-like food, warm beer served in plastic cups & a staff that treated the guests like cattle.
Lets start with the location: Alkion can be found about 10 kilometers (7 miles) from town (Rethymnon) & on one side is a hevily trafficked road, about 5 meters (15 ft) from the pool, when you swim or sunbathing next to the pool, cars will go by in 70 km/h (50 miles/h). On the other side, 100-200 meters from the hotel you´ll find the highway = a lot of noise. If one cross the road close to the hotel & pass over the area of another hotel, one will find a stony beach. Outside this other hotel, a busstop can be found. The surroundings are run-down & it seems like this is an area that never made it, with closed shops & restaurants as well as vacant lots.
The hotel itself is nice, clean rooms, AC & elevator. The pool is to small to accommodate the guests at Alkion. Since its out of town, parking is no problem & you can rent cars near by (half price compared to the rental price at Alkion).
On to the food, staff & service. The staff treat as I mentioned, the guests like cattle, they are not there for You, you are there to disturb them & they will let You know that. The bar (the only bar wich is called the poolbar) is never opened on time, & nothing is ever prepared before opening. If you ask not to be served beer in freshly washed & very hot glasses, they will frown upon this & tell you that it´s only the glass that´s warm & that this is no problem. That fact that the guest is served warm beer is not important at all. You can NEVER EVER bring a glass to your room, they will let you know that aswell. The guests are (for some reason) re-using their glasses & dirty glasses are used to scoop up ice from the large, common container in the bar (ice that is handled by the hands of people collecting dishes & cleaning) & placed next to the sink = poor hygiene. If yon wanna drink by the pool, glasses can´t be used & I fully understand that, but what is offered insted is really small 1 dl (3 fluid ounce) plastic cups, thin, unstable & inferior to those found in public toilets. In the bar you can choose from one type of domestic beer, four or five domestic brands of liquor, undrinkable wine, fruitpunch (wich is called juice) or soda from a machine. The snacks that are supposed to be served every day, sometimes are´nt & said snacks are often nothing but dry cookies. To top this of, you CAN NOT go in to the poolbar if you´re wet. They WILL let you know that aswell. The reason is that the floor can get slippery when wet... this is a problem numerous hotels all over the world has managed to fix, but at Alkion the solution is to tell the guests off.
Over to the restaurant; you can not eat in the restaurant if you´re dressed in swim suit, trunks or bikini & you are not allowed to be barefoot. This seems fair enough, but kind of unnecessary since there´s allways a couple of stray cats in said restaurant. Stray cats that are fed by the staff, food are put in bowls on the floor next to the buffé & since the cats also roam the trash heap next door, this is truly appalling. When confronted with this fact, the hotel manager just answeared; -We can´t kill them you know. This manager, a vulture-like man who constantly hovers over the staff, yelling at them at the same time he´s cleaning the tables or serving wine, can not be reasoned with, it´s his way or the highway (wich conveniently is really close by).
Last, but not least, the food; I´ll make this short; if you´re in to overcooked pasta, boiled liver, fish that tastes like sewage, soggy french fries & undrinkable wine, you´re in heven when dining at the Alkion.
To rap this up; if you get a good deal on the hotel, do´nt mind living out of town, is´nt botherd by traffic noise 24/7 & NEVER use the bar or restaurant, Alkion is ok. If you want the luxury feeling of staying at a nice hotel with good food & nice drinks, where you are pampered by the staff, or if you just want basic service, Alkion is NOT for you. I read some of the older posts here & let me say that Alkion is NOT a cosy place runned by a sweet old couple or something like that, it´s a place of business where you as a guest (when getting the all inclusive) already have paid & can go f**k yourself.

Rasta from Sweden

**************** DO NOT GO TO OR STAY AT THE ALKION ******